Resolve to know more - American's Horror Story

Because infertility often involves major personal life issues and decisions, it is often experienced as a private matter and is not ordinarily discussed openly or publicly. The personal nature of the experience of infertility contributes to the failure of the public, politicians, healthcare professionals and the media to recognize infertility as a disease. This causes a lack of sound knowledge and available resources about infertility (via resolve.org).

However, just because these matters are very personal to an individual, it shouldn't deter the general public from the knowledge and awareness of this disease in general.  I can say that it is not easy to share the emotions associated with infertility, but I do feel that it is NECESSARY for those brave enough to take on such a task in order to not only help better educate the general public, but to help our closest family and friends better understand what it is that we are going through.

Most young girls are raised to think that they'll become mothers someday. From the very first baby doll to the first baby shower, girls and women are surrounded by images and expectations from parents, peers, religion, advertising, and the media.

The pressures to marry and raise a family can be enormous — to the extent that women who are unable to do those things can feel as though something must be deeply wrong with them or sorely lacking in their lives.   

For some women, motherhood is a large part of their self-image as a female. For others, it's their highest ambition. Even women who don't necessarily want to become mothers are aware of social expectations to do so. (modified via babycenter.com)

I can say that for me personally, I had only ever wanted one child.  But since my diagnosis Ive suddenly become very needy in my baby requirements.  I just may end up on TLC's next episode of Hoarders....

Aside from some rare, extenuating circumstance, I don't think there is a single little girl that dreams of growing up and having her babies via IVF and needles and hormones and struggle.  That is NOT the "American Dream" - It is the American's Horror Story.

So what happens when that dream is shattered?  How does it feel?  In today's post I wanted to address the hidden emotions of Infertility. A few months ago I was curled up on the couch catching up on episodes of American Horror Story.  In season 2 (the Asylum), there was a particular episode that struck me very personally.  In this scene, Kit is told that he is being released and will NOT be castrated.  However, his girlfriend Grace finds out that SHE will be the one to lose her ability to procreate.  I think that her reaction depicts just the surface of the emotions felt when diagnosed with infertility.  Living with this disease is much like playing this scene on REPEAT.....EVERY. SINGLE. DAY..  These are just some of the emotions that we are trying to cope with.  


****WARNING**** This scene is a TRIGGER.

Infertility is very much a LOSS.  A BIG loss that requires grieving.  Some of these losses include:

• Loss of the pregnancy and the birth experience;
• Loss of a genetic legacy and loss of future contributing citizens to the next generation;
• Loss of the parenting experience;
• Loss of a grandparent relationship;
• Loss of stability in family and personal relationships;
• Loss of work productivity; and
• Loss of a sense of spirituality and sense of hope for the future. (via resolve.org)

I'm going to be completely raw and honest with my emotions - there were many times that I didn't want to live.  I would never have taken my own life, but I would be lying if I said there weren't many times that I wanted to die.  Scientific studies have concluded that women diagnosed with Infertility have the same levels of stress as someone diagnosed with cancer.  Although it feels completely vulnerable to share my dark emotions, I feel it is necessary to express myself so the public is aware of the depth of hurt in such circumstances and bring the same level of awareness that the population already has on other diseases.  One with common sense would NEVER say to someone with breast cancer, "Oh, you're going to have to have your breast removed? That's okay, you can always get an implant!" and I hope that people will soon have the same common sense regarding infertility - I hope to NEVER again hear, "Oh, you're infertile? That's okay, you can just adopt!"

If you find yourself feeling constantly sad or anxious, not sleeping well or oversleeping, feeling completely isolated, or having thoughts of death and dying, then it is especially important that you speak to your doctor about your feelings.  Consider professional help.  Many couples find that professional individuals or couples counseling can help them cope with the emotional stress of infertility, and some fertility clinics even insist that their patients seek counseling before and during treatment.

Resolve to know more about the emotions of infertility.  Please go to .
http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/Managing-Infertility-Stress/emotional-aspects.html for more information.

These links are also helpful for a basic understanding of infertility and talks more about National Infertility Awareness Week.

• http://www.resolve.org/infertility101  (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
• http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)

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