A (Second) Open Letter To My Sons

My boys.  My sweet, sweet, amazing, miraculous, funny, caring, kind, SMART, giving, thoughtful, hilarious, sweet boys.  I love you.  I love you to the moon and back.  At least TWICE.  And then some.  

So, last year I wrote you an open letter here on my blog.  I had started you each an email account that I had every intention on writing to you and then giving you the password when you turn 18, but, well, you've heard it as much as I have - my hands can get pretty full ;)  So, since this blog is already a healthy habit, I will continue my writing to you here. After all, this entire thing is pretty much just for you anyway.  Every post, every inspired word, all revolves around Our Story.  Where do I begin?  You just celebrated your second birthday (or is it really your third since the day you were born is technically a birth day too?? ;) ) Anywho, you are more than I ever could have asked for.  You're greater than any dream I could have dreamt on my own.  Do you know why that is?  Because I let God take control.  I gave Jesus(((Love//Unconditional)) the proverbial wheel.  And Prayer.  Of course, prayer.  I pray that I have been, am now, and will always be your guiding light to God and His Love.  Because of you//because of Him, I have been//am being refined in the most Glorious of ways.  I am not perfect.  I am human.  I fall and stumble every day, but because of You//Him I desperately yearn to acknowledge, accept, and correct my faults to be the best Mother you couldn't have ever dreamt of on your own.  I desperately strive to be the Ultimate Proverbs 31 Woman//Wife//Mother, and so yearn for you to be Proverbs 32 men (hopefully you already know these by now, but if you don't - LOOK THEM UP.  In fact, just go ahead and look them up right now anyway because it is always good to refresh yourself with God's word.  Go ahead, I'll wait <3 ))

These past few years you have pushed me to limits and heights I feared I would never seen, and brought me comfort and assurance that I didn't know such young men were capable of.  Some of the climbs were steep.  You may or may not have ever sensed this, but there were times your mom was scared.  There were so many times I cried out to God asking for clarity that my choices were of His Will//in His Love.  I don't know if you'll remember this by the time you ever read it, but we lost your baby sibling this year.   I was only 9 weeks pregnant when she died (I am pretty sure she was a girl).  We told you about her right away and you loved her very much.  You would come and kiss my belly 'out of nowhere', and give her hugs all on your own accord without any prompting - its not like you saw your father do that, so it wasnt learned - You just Knew it.  Deep in your tiny, perfect hearts, you expressed unconditional love. I didn't share this with many, but I am certain that is how she was conceived - with Unconditional Love.  You see, your mom was in a place in life where she was adamantly pursuing Unconditional Love - I found it//couldn't rid of it in places//relationships that "it shouldn't be" and struggled to grow it in places//relationships where "it should be".  I came to know Christ better and was practicing Unconditional Love//Fifth Dimensional Christ Consciousness in every facet of my life, and boom - this infertile myrtle immaculately conceived - again!  She was my "Love Child".  So the "Plot Twist" of losing her made me question everything.  And know what?  God answered.  Through Spirit - the Holy Spirit.  

I pray that you get to know Spirit//The Holy Ghost and communicate with God through Spirit.  The Holy Spirit permeates EVERYTHING.  It is EVERYWHERE.  ALWAYS.  Stay in a place of LOVE and you can hear God in the quiet stillness of your own heart.  God (through Spirit) reminded me (again) yesterday that all is in Divine Order by speaking to me in the stillness and showing me this post I had made before I knew I lost your sister.  This is certainly not the first time God//Spirit has used my own words//actions to Reveal Himself (Acts 2:17):

"Alert the Media!     I'm Dead"

It was a video of Leo saying "Love You".  When I was shown this yesterday I remembered when I posted it that I felt uneasy with the caption and wanted to change it, but was pressed by My Intuition//Spirit//God not to.  Now I understand why - because I needed to see this yesterday and be reminded that nothing is a coincidence and everything happens for a reason - that God has a Master Plan far bigger than anything we could wrap our minds around.  Maggie was supposed to die.  Her life and her death was supposed to happen to bring//awaken unconditional love.

Know what else happened yesterday?  A young lady from church came up to me to express her condolences.  And do you know what she said to me?  "Maggie was here for unconditional love.  I really feel that was the lesson.  That was all she ever knew.  She was here to experience and share that".

Sons,  when you are in a state of Love and receiving and are Open to God speaking to you, He WILL.  Through Spirit.  There are signs and synchronicities EVERYWHERE.  PLEASE LOOK FOR THEM.  TRUST them.  They are so frequent and consistent that sometimes I wonder if we have any free will at all because life is so clearly Divinely Orchestrated.  But maybe the "free will" is how we chose to think within the moments that we were already going to experience anyway - we can make that moment good or bad with our thoughts.  Essentially//ultimately creating our own heaven or hell (NSAC Deceleration #7).  ​

Image Source

The destination is the same.  The battle is already won.  God already prevailed.  LOVE HAS ALREADY WON.  But as humans, we forget.  As humans, sin//darkness is inherit within us.  We've eaten from the tree of knowledge - aware of both good and evil - both heaven and hell - "lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:" (Genesis 3:2)  Unless you go to LOVE//God.  Face the darkness.  Journey through it.  Unless you are aware that it does exist -  It is there -  But LOVE//God ("God is love" 1 John 4:8) is right there to hold your hand and walk with you through it.  Walk with God and you will live for ever and ever - You will be in Heaven.  It is my Duty//Privilege as your mother to show you Heaven.

​Dear Leo,

My, Wee-Oh.  My sweet, tiny, little ME.  You are brutally independent, ALWAYS willing//desiring to help, and quite the socialite.  You want to make everyone happy and are too hard on yourself when you 'fail'.  You reflect me back to me with such innocence that I have learned to love myself more and be more gentle with myself.  Through your stubbornness I have learned to be more submissive.  Through your independence I have learned to rely more on others.  You are kind, meek, and gentle.  My son, You will inherit the earth (Matthew 5:5)

​Dear Joel,

My Doe-Wee.  Oh you are quite the charmer!  You are SUCH a lover, always good for a snuggle, and the way that you gently move my hair back, caress my face, and stare into my eyes as you pull me in for a kiss - boy do I swoon!!!  We must've shared another life together to give me butterflies the way you do.  And yet, you're not all rainbows and butterflies.  I sometimes wonder if giving you your middle name "Danger" was a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Your dad would call you reckless, but I like to believe you are brave.  You never hesitate to leap without looking and I hope to mold that into your unwavering Faith.  My son, You will move mountains (Matthew 21:21). ​

Dear Twins,

Although you two are so very different, nearly opposites, you come together as a beautiful, unique, unit.  The partnership and lifelong bond you share is just as important to address as your individuality - perhaps even more so as we are all ONE.  We are all connected.  I hope you come to know all of Matthew 18, but most preeminently Matthew 18: 19-20,

"19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

With God, anything is possible.  With God, and each other, Heaven on earth is guaranteed.  
​It is written.  It is the Law.

I love you.  
I love you.  
I love Us.

Love,
​Mom